It is a fact of our modern life that abuse of referees has become a recurring news headline, all the way down to the youth level. Still, lets be clear: PCSSL shall have no patience with any abuse of our referees.
PCSSL is based on AYSO rules and philosophies, starting with Good Sportsmanship -- and any abuse (verbal or otherwise) of any referee falls on the wrong side of our requirement for good sportsmanship. AYSO rules are clear: "It shall be the duty of each coach, spectator, team member, and other participant to conduct himself/herself in a manner becoming a member of AYSO and consistent with the AYSO Six Philosophies and the highest standards of conduct." (AYSO National Rules and Regulations, 1.E.1.a)
The Laws of the Game are clear, there is no one else with authority in a game: "Each match is controlled by a referee who has full authority to enforce the Laws of the Game in connection with the match." (FIFA Laws Of The Game 05.01) And PCSSL rules are also clear: "Referee judgement calls are final and not to be protested." (PCSSL Playing Rules 4.10)
All of our referees are volunteers (just like all of us coaches), and they will make mistakes just like the rest of us. We do not ask participants to agree with the calls that are made. We do not require participants to accept that referee understands the rules. Yet, we do insist that everyone respects the calls as they are made.
If you do not like a referee you are free to leave. However, so long as you are participating in organized soccer then the referee is the sole authority over your game.
Be aware that coaches are held responsible for the behavior of everyone in and around their team.
Quoting the PCSSL Rules (3.01), "Coaches are responsible to ensure that their players, parents, and fans behave in a respectful manner."
It is possible that you will be required by the referees to address problematic behavior of one of your players or even one or more of your team's fans. Be sure that everyone in and around your team understands the expectations (if necessary refer them to the "highest standards of conduct" clause in the AYSO National rules) and be sure that they respect your position in ensuring everyone meets those expectations. Failure to do so could lead to penalties against you.
If there is a dispute regarding a referee's decision, we recommend asking the referee a question about this issue, after the game is over but before the referee leaves the field (note: until the referee leaves the field they still have the authority and the direction to take further disciplinary action, so any questions need to be raised with care and respect).
Any concerns about the decisions or about the qualities of a referee should be brought to the attention of the PCSSL Director.
One of the key roles of any coach is to be a model for the attitude and behavior of the players. Even if the referee's decision is all wrong, what is the model that you are demonstrating to your players if you are screaming and arguing with the ref? Is that really the lesson you want your players to learn about how to handle situations when something goes wrong?
Also, consider that as a coach you ask your players to listen to you, and they do. If so, the more that you argue with a referee, the more you are showing that you overtly advocate questioning the declared lines of authority -- and hence you are also providing your players with valid reasons to question your authority over them.