Referee Relations

It is a fact of our modern life that abuse of referees has become a recurring news headline, all the way down to the youth level, yet again. So, lets be absolutely clear: PCSSL shall have no patience with any abuse of our referees.

All of our referees are volunteers (just like all of us coaches), and they will make mistakes just like the rest of us. Every referee has their own views of your match and how The Laws of The Game apply.  We do not ask participants to agree with the calls that are made.  We do not require anyone to even agree that their referee understands the game. Regardless, we do insist that everyone respects the calls as they are made.

Specifics And Details

PCSSL is based on AYSO rules and philosophies, starting with Good Sportsmanship -- and any abuse (verbal or otherwise) of any referee falls on the wrong side of our requirement for Good Sportsmanship. 

AYSO rules are clear: "It shall be the duty of each coach, spectator, team member, and other participant to conduct himself/herself in a manner becoming a member of AYSO and consistent with the AYSO Six Philosophies and the highest standards of conduct." (AYSO National Rules and Regulations, 1.E.1.a)

US Soccer's policy is clear: "Everyone deserves the opportunity to experience soccer without risking his or her well-being. We must protect those in service to the game.  Both Physical and Non-Physical Abuse Have No Place In Our Game."

The Laws of the Game are clear: there is no one else with authority in a game: "Each match is controlled by a referee who has full authority to enforce the Laws of the Game in connection with the match." (FIFA Laws Of The Game 05.01)

So, yes, PCSSL rules are also clear: "Referee judgement calls are final and not to be protested." (PCSSL Playing Rules 4.10)

If you do not like a referee you are free to leave the game.  However, so long as you are participating in any form of organized soccer then the referee is the authority over your game. 

US Soccer Referee Abuse Prevention Policy

As of March 2025 US Soccer defined a new set of policies for all youth soccer programs in this country, recreational as well as competitive: US Soccer Referee Abuse Prevention.  In effect, these nation-wide policies dictate much of what has been PCSSL practice for years: "Respect The Call".  But these new policies do define minimum penalties for anyone in violation, and the penalties are significant -- the smallest penalty is a 2-game suspension and they scale quickly all the way up to a lifetime ban, and there are multiple ways that someone can readily find themselves missing an entire season (any threats, deliberate physical contact, derogatory slurs, or any abuse directed towards a minor).

• This is not optional, this is mandated.

• This is not local, this is nationwide.

• This is not just rec, these same standards apply to all levels of youth soccer.

Note: Every league at every level are all explicitly encouraged to report violations to all other leagues (e.g. US Soccer FAQ on RAP: "We recommend teams, leagues, and members communicate penalties with each other.")  Suspensions are intended to be served across all teams and leagues ("Best practice would be to have a coach or player suspended for the correlating number of games (and / or time) across all teams and leagues.")

PCSSL will follow these policies as set by US Soccer, and we will communicate any resulting suspensions or bans.

Coach Responsibilities

Be aware that coaches can be held responsible for the behavior of everyone in and everyone around their team.

Quoting the PCSSL Rules (3.01), "Coaches are responsible to ensure that their players, parents, and fans behave in a respectful manner."

It is possible that you will be required by the referees to address problematic behavior of one of your players or even one or more of your team's fans. Be sure that everyone in and around your team understands the expectations (if necessary refer them to the "highest standards of conduct" clause in the AYSO National rules).

As of the 2019-2020 season, the Laws of the Game now directly declare that coaches can receive both yellow and red cards -- and further, that in the case that a referee cannot identify the offender (such as when an unknown spectator is misbehaving) the head coach is the individual who will receive the card.  As with all cards shown during our games, PCSSL will honor the cards shown -- so it is possible that coaches can and will be suspended for one or more games if they (or their spectators) receive a red card or accumulate yellow cards during a season -- and this will be enforced even if there is only one coach for the team (hence our recommendation that every team have at least two qualified coaches on the roster).

We recommend that coaches ensure that their families understand and appreciate the expectations for behavior set by this league, by AYSO, and by US Soccer.  If faced with individuals who may struggle to meet these expectations, coaches are encouraged to work with their region's board and/or staff members for assistance but can also reach out to the league for help.

Handling Disputes

If there is a question regarding a referee's decision, we recommend asking the referee a question about this issue, after the game is over but before the referee leaves the field. Note: until the referee leaves the field they still have their full authority and still have the direction to take further disciplinary action if necessary, so any questions need to be raised with care and respect  -- in some cases it may be wise to have your assistant ask the question for you...

Any concerns about the decisions or about the qualities of a referee should be brought to the attention of the PCSSL Director.  The league can then follow up with the appropriate RRAs and RCs as necessary.

Commentary

One of the key roles of any coach is to be a model for the attitude and behavior of the players. Even if the referee's decision is all wrong, is yelling at a referee the behavior you want to model for your players? Is that really what we want to teach kids about how they should handle disagreements? 

Finally, consider that your role as a coach is basically impossible unless your players respect and listen to you. And yet, the more that you argue with a referee, the more you are demonstrating that you openly disrespect authority -- and hence, by your own actions, you are providing your players with obvious examples for them to use to test your own authority.