Referee Relations

General Advice

Remember that the person on the other side of the situation may have a very different view of what is/isn't abusive.  In a volunteer organization there is no professional to sort out who did or said what, so do recognize that it is possible (and even likely) that the referee's view may be given more weight than your opinion of any incident.

Assume that the referee is doing his or her best to manage their own biases and make use of all the information they have about the game and how The Laws apply.  Our local referee community is blessed with lots of methods and opportunities for expert criticism that works with and through all of the AYSO training resources -- none of our referees need coaches or parents to provide any unsolicited "help".

Soccer is a social activity, and as with any social activity, how you behave does influence how others will react.

Specifics And Details

PCSSL is based on AYSO rules and philosophies, starting with Good Sportsmanship -- and any abuse (verbal or otherwise) of any referee falls on the wrong side of our requirement for Good Sportsmanship. 

AYSO rules are clear: good sportsmanship is always required.  "It shall be the duty of each coach, spectator, team member, and other participant to conduct himself/herself in a manner becoming a member of AYSO and consistent with the AYSO Six Philosophies and the highest standards of conduct." (AYSO National Rules and Regulations, 1.E.1.a)

US Soccer's policy is clear:  it is never okay to abuse any referee.  "Everyone deserves the opportunity to experience soccer without risking his or her well-being. We must protect those in service to the game.  Both Physical and Non-Physical Abuse Have No Place In Our Game."

The Laws of the Game are clear: there is no one else with authority in a game: "Each match is controlled by a referee who has full authority to enforce the Laws of the Game in connection with the match." (FIFA Laws Of The Game 05.01)

So, yes, PCSSL rules are also clear: "Referee judgement calls are final and not to be protested." (PCSSL Playing Rules 4.10)

As long as you are participating in any form of organized soccer then the referee is the authority over your game.   If that becomes a problem then you may have to leave.

US Soccer Referee Abuse Prevention Policy

As of March 2025, US Soccer has implemented a new set of policies for all youth soccer programs in this country, recreational as well as competitive: US Soccer Referee Abuse Prevention (referenced by the acronym of "RAP").

In effect, these nation-wide policies dictate much of what has been PCSSL practice for years: "Respect The Call".  But these new policies do define minimum penalties for anyone in violation, and the penalties are significant -- the smallest penalty is a 2-game suspension and they scale quickly all the way up to a lifetime ban, and there are multiple ways that someone can readily find themselves missing an entire season (any threats, any deliberate physical contact, any derogatory slurs, or any abuse directed towards a minor).

• This is not optional, this is mandated.

• This is not local, this is nationwide.

• This is not just rec-level, these same standards apply to all levels of youth soccer.

Note: Every league at every level of youth soccer are all explicitly encouraged to report violations to all other leagues (e.g. US Soccer FAQ on RAP: "We recommend teams, leagues, and members communicate penalties with each other.")  Suspensions are intended to be served across all teams and leagues ("Best practice would be to have a coach or player suspended for the correlating number of games (and / or time) across all teams and leagues.")

PCSSL will follow these policies as set by US Soccer, and we will communicate any resulting suspensions or bans.

Coach Responsibilities

Be aware that it is possible for coaches to be held responsible for the behavior of everyone in and everyone around their team.

Quoting the PCSSL Rules (3.01), "Coaches are responsible to ensure that their players, parents, and fans behave in a respectful manner."

As a coach it is possible that you will be required by the referees to address problematic behavior of one of your players or even one or more of your team's fans. Be sure that everyone in and around your team understands the expectations (if necessary refer them to that "highest standards of conduct" clause in the AYSO National rules which explicitly includes "spectators" as bound by these same expectations of conduct).

Note: As of the 2019-2020 season, the Laws of the Game now declare that coaches can receive both yellow and red cards -- and further, that in the case that a referee cannot identify the offender (such as when an unknown spectator is misbehaving) the head coach is the individual who will receive the card.  Frankly in PCSSL games carding coaches is unlikely since many of our local referees will choose to abandon the match (causing a forfeit) rather than continue in such circumstances.  Regardless, any such conflict is still going to be a difficult situation for all coaches involved.

However, if coaches are ever shown cards at a PCSSL game, as with all cards shown during our games, PCSSL will honor all cards shown -- so it is possible that coaches can and will be suspended for one or more games if they (or their spectators) receive a red card or accumulate yellow cards during a season -- and this will be enforced even if there is only one coach for the team (hence our recommendation that every team have at least two qualified coaches on the roster).

We recommend that coaches ensure that their families understand and appreciate the expectations for behavior set by this league, by AYSO, and by US Soccer.  If faced with individuals who may struggle to meet these expectations, coaches are encouraged to work with their region's board and/or staff members for assistance, but teams can also reach out to the league for help.

Handling Disputes

If there is a question regarding a referee's decision, we recommend asking the referee a question seeking specific clarification about this decision, after the game is over but before the referee leaves the field.

Note: until the referee leaves the field they still have their full authority and still have the direction to take further disciplinary action if necessary, so any questions need to be raised with care and respect  -- in some cases it may be wise to have an assistant ask a question for you...

Note: in every jurisdiction where PCSSL plays, pursuing a match official as or after they leave the field can be considered harassment -- this can quickly become a situation enforced by local police rather than just by league officials...

Any concerns about the decisions or about the qualities of a referee should be brought to the attention of the PCSSL Director.  PCSSL is always interested in hearing feedback.  The league can then follow up with the appropriate RRAs and RCs as necessary.

Commentary

One of the key roles of any coach is to be a model for the attitude and behavior of the players. Even if the referee's decision is all wrong, is yelling at a referee the behavior you want to model for your players? Is that really what we want to teach kids about how they should handle disagreements? 

Finally, consider that your role as a coach is basically impossible unless your players respect and listen to you. And yet, the more that you argue with a referee, the more you are demonstrating that you yourself openly disrespect authority -- and hence, by your own actions, you are providing your players with clear examples for them to use when they disagree with you.

Good Sportsmanship is not just some slogan.  Good Sportsmanship is a foundation of the community that makes this league possible.